hi boys im back and more zen than ever
Reason I was gone: realized me and food need to become friends again. Like actual friends not those poeple you pretend to not like even tho you love em. Wait that doesn’t make sense. Anyway. I’ve been restricing the most delicious parts on planet earth for like 2 years, leading me to binge in the evenings on dry muelsi cause I had no chcolate or anything unhealthier than that in the house. I used to wake up at 4 in the middle of the night with my stocach SCREAMING at me to PLEASE eat!!!! Well. I’ve started listening. It’s hard some days and I’m afraid to get big in unflattering places. But I’m at home and eat what my mom cooks which helps. I had pudding yesterday. And eat muesli before going to bed every night. I am curretnly snacking on nuts and dried fruit!
Also another reason I was gone: I have to stop taking pictures of every meal. This blog turned into a what I eat every single day and it was mostly a) too little and b) the same. I don’t want food to determine my life and be the thing I think about 24/7. Sometimes I wake up and can’t stop planning out the meals I’ll have in the day. I start scrolling pinterest and instagram for inspo, write down what I’ll get to have (WHAT I’M ALLOWED TO HAVE?!?!?) in my notes before starting the day! Jesus. I hate it. But I think I’ve already gotten better.
When I see myself in the mirror I now realize that I don’t llok healthy. My arms are tiny, my but- nonexistent. I’ve started following healthy poeple and aesthtic accounts on instagram and unfollowed some poeple like mattdoesfitness on youtube. They’re not good for the ol’ brain of mine. I do yoga every morning without having missed a single day this month! Most days I do another round in the afternoon. It feels good and I stop overthinking then! 30 days of yoga and I think I#ve actually gotten better and like more calm? I feel good. Yoga and my sunlight lamp saving lives here!
Mm whatelse. I go on walks, sometimes on run, do a home workout every other day, no pressure and do yoga.
Also got iron, straight into my blood stream as pills and such make my digestion throw a tantrum. No pictures here. I wanna capture pretty memories and not some weird food. Exapt for when it looks exaptionally beautiful or took me 700 hours to make! No more pictures of pasta we’ve seen enough of her. namaste bitches
Dude I watched white tiger half way through yesterday. really wanted to like it. Don’t. didn’t enjoy it.
But I am binge watching how i met your mother. sheeeesh.
Oh and fave poeple I follow: erin rutherford, cat meffan, yoga with adrienne, natacha oceane, lizzy hadfield, caro daur, emma chamberlain, ssagittarius